SCREEN PLAY

So, you’ve had the death stares from strangers as your kid dribbles manically in front of Peppa Pig on the iPad, you’ve faced the guilt-trip from your parents (who continue to proffer up useless advice like ‘let them play outside more’) and you’ve promised yourself/partner/house plant/anyone who listens that you’re going to stop this technological madness and attempt more crafting. Soon. Very soon.

Well, put down the Sellotape and pack away the felt tips because plonking the urchin in front of the iPad is not as cognitively heathen as some think. Clare Smith, an early language development researcher at the University of Surrey says, “there’s, as yet, no evidence of touch screen devices being damaging to very young children.”

Smith argues that the right apps can even boost social development and leave you with a happier kid less likely to throw a tantrum as you plough into that Pizza Express 2-4-1 deal. If the hefty research by paediatrician collective APP is also to be believed, iPad play is 'the modern-day equivalent of building blocks'.

That’s the key, though, ‘play’. Putting Peppa Pig on repeat sadly isn’t going to bag any parenting accolades. The iPad has to be seen as a 21st Century toy that needs to pack an engagement punch. It’s a simple shift, however: eschew the onslaught of that pesky pink pig in favour of the mind-boosting My Very First App or Dr Seuss’ Cat in the hat.

Smith adds that sticking the TV (or their favourite iPlayer programme) on doesn’t engage and stimulate a kid to do anything but gawp mutely at a screen of odd characters and seemingly stoned storylines (Cbeebies' The Night Garden is unchecked madness).

If there’s a dog on the screen, it’s not a dog that relates to your kid’s life so they become a bystander – a passive mute enfant terrible just peering into a bizarre brightly-hued world.

A study published in Child Development found that while toddlers don't increase their vocabulary from passive TV watching, they did learn from a video chat on Skype. Equally, if they’re painting by numbers on an iPad, it’s no different cognitively to scribbling with crayons and paper – both ignite the grey matter.

Then there’s the issue of time. Allowing hours to slip by as your child gazes into Iggle Piggle’s kaleidoscopic wonderland is the guilt equivalent of scarfing a tub of M&S mini bites. There’s an element of self-hatred as you consider the things you should be crafting out of bog roll.

But non-profit children’s organisation Zero To Three advises against setting a time-based limit for interacting with screens. It’s more about the type of content over the time spent glued to it. They suggest talking to your kid about what’s going on or if they need help with anything. If your kid is playing a colouring game, bring this into the real world by sorting toys into colours afterwards.

Zero to Three stresses that if you ban something and stop children from engaging in screen play, it becomes a forbidden fruit; something to obsess about and demand in the manner of Angelica off The Rugrats.

There’s no denying playing in the park and petting a barnyard of animals is a far more wholesome and satisfying parental activity, but the reality is screens have become a part of everyday life and there are just some times when you need to keep the brood schtum.

So ditch the guilt, ram that iPad full of IQ-boosting activity and tell the judging masses to sod off. For any porcine stalwarts, there’s even an Alphabet by Peppa Pig app. That is arguably parenting Mecca.