MUM'S THE WORD

She's the founder of ingenious gift site Don't Buy Her Flowers (think care packages of mags, hand creams, chocolate and booze for new mums or mates who just need a pep-up) and keeps two humans alive. We love Steph Douglas for bringing gin and self-deprecation into the mothering fore

Number of kids?

Two. Buster (4) and Mabel (2)

Worst mothering moment?

Oh so many… When I was eight months pregnant, Buster (who was 20 months) found his way to the top of a really high, precarious slide. I launched myself up a climbing frame to get him, put him on my lap and went down the slide… but forgot to tuck his legs in. I heard a crack, he howled, and then couldn’t walk, and then Doug, my husband swept him off to A&E while I sat at home weeping that not only was I about to have another baby but my other child would be in plaster because I’d crushed him with my gargantuan weight on a slide. It wasn’t broken and didn’t need plaster, but he couldn’t walk on it for a while. Kids are like animals – he didn’t complain, just stopped using the sore leg and kind of dragged it behind him. I felt terrible.

Best mothering moment?

When they put their pudgy little hands either side of your face, really look you in the eye and say something gorgeous. I made that.

Dinner party or play date?

Dinner party. Seriously, has anyone said play date?

Home or away?

Home.

Can’t live without…

Aside from kids and family and all that jazz, I’ll go with mascara and Options Hot Chocolate.

Can’t live with…

Meanness. The judgers, the ‘oh we didn’t do it like that’, the disapproving looks when one or both of my children are having a meltdown. BE NICE.

What’s the last thing you bought?

Aveda Pure Abundance Volumising shampoo and conditioner – it makes my ratty hair look thick.

Last call?

Richmond Borough School Admissions #angry

Most pukka thing you own?

My business of course. I OWN it. I’m a business OWNER.

Most annoying thing other mother's say?

‘Just wait until they’re teenagers’. No. I won’t believe that it gets harder than those first couple of years. I can imagine it’s challenging, but you’re running on more sleep. And if it is worse? Just lie to us.

Mothering is…

An awesome, terrifying, exhausting and bodily-fluid-filled rollercoaster.